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Two Gays and a Chick (Chapter Three)"You know since... my parents are away and I have the whole house to myself, I'm letting Gary crash at my place. It gets boring with just us. You should crash at my place this weekend too. It'll be fun. We can play spin the bottle. No losers playing that game with just the three of us, what do you think?" Steven suggested as I closed my empty Cheese on Top box. Not going to lie but when I heard him say spin the bottle, I twitched with bad memories rushing in my mind.
"Uh..." I started to say. I forgot that today was Friday. I looked over at Steven and saw he was already looking over at me smiling. Then at Gary, whose attention was on his half eaten burger.
"You can say no, Abby." Gary suddenly said as he gradually lifted his head up and stared straight at me. I turned away from his eyes and rose my milkshake to my mouth.
"Well I'm not taking a no." Steven protested. "Okay, we don't have to play spin the bottle, but trust me Abby honey, you won't be disappointed. You
Two Gays and a Chick (Chapter Two)"Where's Steven?" I asked Gary. He had texted me that he wanted to come over so here we were in my front yard. I always assumed Steven would be accompanied with him and he was, when I saw Gary, Steven would be present right there with him. However, not this time, strangly. This is weird, I remembered thinking as I stared at Gary who was lowering down, carefully with his hands, the rear door to get onto the back of his pickup truck. And straightaway, I noticed a folded down from the top brown bag from Cheese on Top and a folded up blanket beside it.
"Don't worry about him. Hop on." Gary instructed as he got on and held both his hands out for me. This was a year ago. The approach Gary, Steven, and I always did to get me onto the back of his truck was either one or both of them grabbing me by the wrist and lifting me up. I was short, it was a curse, and Gary's truck was really elevated thanks to his oversized tires. It was obviously his pride and joy. "I got you cheese fries." He added as
The Difference Between You and MeI wanted to protect you
I wanted to save you
Take all the pain away
I thought with me, you would be okay
That I was your pain killer
That I could make it all better
I wanted to be there for you
I would do anything for you
So that you would be happy
I just wanted you to be happy, baby
That we could make it through this together
And continue being together forever and ever
But it's hard when your demons inside are fighting you
When you have this constant battle inside of you
It's hard to see you be that way
When your mind is your worse enemy
And then I don't know what to do to make it better
What if I make it worser?
What if I can't help you
What if I'm not enough for you
I just wanted you to be happy
With me, say that I make you happy, I know that's so selfish of me to say
But it's hard on me too, I have feelings too, remember?
That I'm not always strong and I can easily break like a mirror
I wanted to be there for you
Need Your LoveI love you
But do I love you too much?
Was it more than you deserved?
Or was it more than you could handle?
Gave you so much more
Than what you gave me
Is that selfish love?
Tell me baby, is it?
I wanted to protect you
Did you want to protect me too?
From the pain
From the tears
From everything that could hurt me
I just wanted to be happy with you
And give you everything
Did you want that for me too?
Are you going to love me like I love you?
Baby, is that wrong?
I love you so much
Please tell me that you love me too
Broken Heels and Banana Peels (Chapter 8-10)Chapter 8
Aubrey just invited me to sit with her at her table. No way.
And all I could say was, "I'll think about it," before I went back to cutting my steak. There was no way I could sit with them. Not because I didn't want to... Okay, I kind of didn't want to, but that was only because of her brother and other people. They would definitely notice. There was no way I could.
"Yeah, that would be cool if you did." Melissa added as I glanced over at her. She was picking some of her eggs up with her fork before she continued, "Or you can just visit us at our table if you don't want to... You know, sit with us or something." She said as she looked up at me, lifting her fork full of scrambled eggs into her mouth while smiling.
"But we would totally understand if you don't want to." Aubrey then commented as she put some of Hanna's salad on her plate. "It's really up to you." I listened as I took a bite of my slice of steak, looking over at Hanna who was sit
Monsters and MadnessI release the madness blindly.
Not thinking, not really.
My madness is in monsters that are inside me, they like to play.
"Let us out, you know you want to." They say.
And when they do, they take control and stay.
They are all the words and all of the things I do angrily.
And once everything is said and done, they come back happily.
They eagerly wait for the next time to come out and play.
My monsters I can't stop or control at times, and they don't go away.
Forgiveness takes twoThe words are struggling
to tumble off my tongue,
and despite having
a fleshy cushion
to rest on,
they stain my teeth
and sting like acid
"I'm sorry," I stutter,
but the bitter taste
doesn't leave my tongue-
not because the words weren't true,
but because I know
I won't hear,
Mommy Is A Super HeroMommy Is A Super Hero
Standing before his class, he held his tiny report,
“Who is your super hero?” Was written in yellow chalk on the green board.
Exhaling his breath, the curly haired boy closed his little eyes,
“Don't be ashamed of yourself” His mother's words rung in his ears, “And don't ever cry.”
He began to read aloud, with a shaky voice.
to his class, he told his mother's story.
At age fifteen, she was a beauty queen,
the most beautiful girl in all of the world.
She flaunted her silky hair, bore her bare legs,
prided her breast. The boys treated her like she was a treasure chest.
They respected her rules, they “looked, but didn't touch”,
but there was one older man, who from her, wanted too much.
All alone he met her, he approached her in the alley,
and all his mother told him, was that this man had treated her badly.
But what the boy didn't know was that she was taken against her will,
and that two months later, she turned up ext
She's an artistShe's an artist.
Always seems to be daydreaming,
She draws to escape her pain.
Cause for a single moment,
When her work is done.
It seems like there is no more rain.
And she could finally touch the sun.
The one that shines so brightly in her paintings.
But then it's gone,
So she keeps drawing,
She's become good at escaping.
Running from reality.
Because dreams are the only things she wants,
Her imagination is the only thing she's ever known.
And it's sad really...
Because she tries so hard to be happy.
But the most beautiful thing she could ever create.
Was that smile upon her face,
And that is the one thing that remains blank.
Waiting to someday be something more than,
cenotaph of stormsthe first thunderstorm
was triggered by a blunt pair
of scissors, sparking violently
against the lightning,
shaking in the wind.
the downpour pierced,
tattooed with no ink but
the dark bleakness
of an overcast morning,
infiltrating uniformed wrists.
hid behind the music block,
shaky raindrops rioting
fears, she fractured.
the second storm
wept a two year downpour
outline that dripped from wrist
to hip, sidelong silhouette glances
obscured by the rain.
stalictidal waves shuddered
frozen, until icy glass
fell in stained shards from
the stillness inside.
thinner, brittler, growing
in flurries of sleet and hail,
her outline was never filled,
though the floods threatened
the third thunderstorm
was a mist-ridden melancholia,
a dream for permanence
smeared in ink through
fueled by the hope
that just this once,
the rain would spark a
rebirth beneath the ground.
instead, a tsunami
washed away the ink
as tides so often do.
Still HereSuicide is a
Thought that frequently lurks
In my mind, wich
Lets it overcome the
Laughter and happiness
Here I still fight, however
Enduring this sad life
Reviving my hopes
Embracing the gift of life
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
my bedspread is white and so is my coffin.i can feel
the night closing
the stars are breaking
empty glass bottles
inside of my
mouth, and they taste like
ambien. bitter, then
but you still can't close your fucking eyes
little blue pills for
eyes– it was winter and i
dreams of nothing more than
nothing. the devil
tied chains around all the
vessels in my
body. laughed, and by god i
laughed too (and laughedandlaughedandlaughed).
this will all be over soon i swear i will take everything off your skin and bones and burn it up
and then january took the world
in it's grip and i
drowned in the snow that
will never hydrate the
can you hear that it's the night and it's so beautiful so come here darling and we'll watch the sun rise and set and rise and
smotherher spine was dusk
and unmade nests,
but he tried to live there
he was neither nocturnal
nor a dawn-believer,
so he suffocated
in the birdhouse of her ribs.
AnymoreHere we are again, said our final goodbyes, and left
Same story, but this might be it
I know you're not what I want anymore
And I know I'm not what you want
The sparks are gone, no fireworks, nothing, cause it's all burned out
Back then I used to forgive you, I used to miss you everyday
But it's not like that anymore
It's probably the same for you too
You didn't even want to put any effort
No trying to make me not leave
No, "Stay, I know we can work this out."
And I told you, "That's sad
You don't fight for what you want
So you end up losing it"
And you told me, "I used to do that but not anymore"
And it's okay...
Now I know where I stand with you
I keep thinking of the past
Of how it used to be
But you're not that person anymore
I'm not either
And before we know it..
We're becoming strangers
Because there's this distance between us
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More