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Two Gays and a Chick (Chapter Three)"You know since... my parents are away and I have the whole house to myself, I'm letting Gary crash at my place. It gets boring with just us. You should crash at my place this weekend too. It'll be fun. We can play spin the bottle. No losers playing that game with just the three of us, what do you think?" Steven suggested as I closed my empty Cheese on Top box. Not going to lie but when I heard him say spin the bottle, I twitched with bad memories rushing in my mind.
"Uh..." I started to say. I forgot that today was Friday. I looked over at Steven and saw he was already looking over at me smiling. Then at Gary, whose attention was on his half eaten burger.
"You can say no, Abby." Gary suddenly said as he gradually lifted his head up and stared straight at me. I turned away from his eyes and rose my milkshake to my mouth.
"Well I'm not taking a no." Steven protested. "Okay, we don't have to play spin the bottle, but trust me Abby honey, you won't be disappointed. You
Two Gays and a Chick (Chapter Two)"Where's Steven?" I asked Gary. He had texted me that he wanted to come over so here we were in my front yard. I always assumed Steven would be accompanied with him and he was, when I saw Gary, Steven would be present right there with him. However, not this time, strangly. This is weird, I remembered thinking as I stared at Gary who was lowering down, carefully with his hands, the rear door to get onto the back of his pickup truck. And straightaway, I noticed a folded down from the top brown bag from Cheese on Top and a folded up blanket beside it.
"Don't worry about him. Hop on." Gary instructed as he got on and held both his hands out for me. This was a year ago. The approach Gary, Steven, and I always did to get me onto the back of his truck was either one or both of them grabbing me by the wrist and lifting me up. I was short, it was a curse, and Gary's truck was really elevated thanks to his oversized tires. It was obviously his pride and joy. "I got you cheese fries." He added as
The Difference Between You and MeI wanted to protect you
I wanted to save you
Take all the pain away
I thought with me, you would be okay
That I was your pain killer
That I could make it all better
I wanted to be there for you
I would do anything for you
So that you would be happy
I just wanted you to be happy, baby
That we could make it through this together
And continue being together forever and ever
But it's hard when your demons inside are fighting you
When you have this constant battle inside of you
It's hard to see you be that way
When your mind is your worse enemy
And then I don't know what to do to make it better
What if I make it worser?
What if I can't help you
What if I'm not enough for you
I just wanted you to be happy
With me, say that I make you happy, I know that's so selfish of me to say
But it's hard on me too, I have feelings too, remember?
That I'm not always strong and I can easily break like a mirror
I wanted to be there for you
Need Your LoveI love you
But do I love you too much?
Was it more than you deserved?
Or was it more than you could handle?
Gave you so much more
Than what you gave me
Is that selfish love?
Tell me baby, is it?
I wanted to protect you
Did you want to protect me too?
From the pain
From the tears
From everything that could hurt me
I just wanted to be happy with you
And give you everything
Did you want that for me too?
Are you going to love me like I love you?
Baby, is that wrong?
I love you so much
Please tell me that you love me too
Broken Heels and Banana Peels (Chapter 8-10)Chapter 8
Aubrey just invited me to sit with her at her table. No way.
And all I could say was, "I'll think about it," before I went back to cutting my steak. There was no way I could sit with them. Not because I didn't want to... Okay, I kind of didn't want to, but that was only because of her brother and other people. They would definitely notice. There was no way I could.
"Yeah, that would be cool if you did." Melissa added as I glanced over at her. She was picking some of her eggs up with her fork before she continued, "Or you can just visit us at our table if you don't want to... You know, sit with us or something." She said as she looked up at me, lifting her fork full of scrambled eggs into her mouth while smiling.
"But we would totally understand if you don't want to." Aubrey then commented as she put some of Hanna's salad on her plate. "It's really up to you." I listened as I took a bite of my slice of steak, looking over at Hanna who was sit
Monsters and MadnessI release the madness blindly.
Not thinking, not really.
My madness is in monsters that are inside me, they like to play.
"Let us out, you know you want to." They say.
And when they do, they take control and stay.
They are all the words and all of the things I do angrily.
And once everything is said and done, they come back happily.
They eagerly wait for the next time to come out and play.
My monsters I can't stop or control at times, and they don't go away.
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
A note for people who need a kind wordJust a note,
For anyone who has felt,
Like they have been broken.
Just like an old toy.
Thrown and tossed around like a rag doll.
To anyone who feels,
They re tearing at their seams.
And they re losing all control.
A note to the little girl,
And waited for her mother.
Or her father.
To come back home,
To keep her safe,
While she cried.
Or to at least of said goodbye.
And wishes they d come back and tell her,
A note to the lonely boy.
So quiet and reserved.
Who sits and takes their cruel words.
Thinking it s what he deserved.
To be thrown into lockers,
And thinking he can find something better,
With the company of a razor,
Rather than a human.
Because humans have caused him more hurt,
Than the blades that pierce his skin.
A note to the beautiful girls.
Who walk for miles,
Until they have blisters on their feet.
Because they will not accept the defeat,
Of having to see numbers,
That tell them they are not worthy.
They are not pretty.
And they should not be living.
If they c
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
AnymoreHere we are again, said our final goodbyes, and left
Same story, but this might be it
I know you're not what I want anymore
And I know I'm not what you want
The sparks are gone, no fireworks, nothing, cause it's all burned out
Back then I used to forgive you, I used to miss you everyday
But it's not like that anymore
It's probably the same for you too
You didn't even want to put any effort
No trying to make me not leave
No, "Stay, I know we can work this out."
And I told you, "That's sad
You don't fight for what you want
So you end up losing it"
And you told me, "I used to do that but not anymore"
And it's okay...
Now I know where I stand with you
I keep thinking of the past
Of how it used to be
But you're not that person anymore
I'm not either
And before we know it..
We're becoming strangers
Because there's this distance between us
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More